I can’t believe it, but my oldest is about to graduate from college. When we started to look for the school he would eventually choose to attend for four years (ok, five — thanks Covid!), I had been working as an independent college counselor for several years so I thought I was an expert. While I probably knew more than the average high school parent, going through the college search process with my own teenager and seeing him grow into an adult taught us both an awful lot. Here are some thoughts:
When it’s late spring of your senior year in high school and you’re in those final stages of picking your college, block out the noise. You’ll get an opinion from absolutely everyone: relatives, neighbors, social media, the mailman. The definition of the “best” college is simple: it’s where you’ll find people you click with and a place where you’ll grow. Anything else is just static. Once you make a decision and slap that bumper sticker on your family’s car, get excited. You’re a Poet or a Slice or a Banana Slug now (yes, those are real college mascots). Be proud.
Once you get to college, it’s a fresh start. High school is in the rear-view mirror. You’re no better or worse than the kid sitting next to you in a lecture hall, seminar, or studio. In the spirit of adventure, don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself. You can be a brand-new “you.” Say you told your college that all you wanted to do once you got there was play intramural lacrosse, but now you can’t wait for Friday night’s anime club. Go for it! Maybe your “first few weeks of college” friends aren’t your vibe anymore. It’s totally okay to switch up friend groups. Happens all the time.
Build your community. Join different student groups in and outside of your major. Help other students with their projects. Odds are, they’ll help you with yours. Talk to faculty during their office hours about class materials and more. Professors can help guide you not just with this week’s homework problems, but with big existential questions about life. And if you’re lucky, those conversations can help you figure out your future.
Start thinking about life after college as soon as you start college. Go to your college’s career center for resume workshops, connections to alumni, and ideas for real-life experiences related to subjects you’re studying. Students who have career support and internships are much more likely to have better job prospects when they graduate than students who’ve just taken classes.
Don’t have any regrets. You might feel bad that you didn’t work harder in high school and wonder if you could have gotten into a “better” college or you might be disappointed that your college isn’t as close to a major city so you can have more extracurricular opportunities. So what? You’ve probably had other experiences that were positive. Make the most of who you’re with and where you are. I went to a small liberal arts college in a rural area and never had “quilting with Amish grandmas” on my college must-have list — but you can bet it was an experience like no other!
And finally, be kind to yourself. Graduating brings up all kinds of complicated emotions. It’s okay to feel super excited and also dreading the next move. I remember sitting on the stage when I got my PhD and feeling kind of depressed. I wasn’t sure where I was going when I walked down those stairs. But I figured it out. Whether you have a job lined up before you graduate or you’re moving back home with your family to re-group before you start your job search or graduate school, you’ve made it!
Life is always going to throw you challenges. Hopefully your college years will give you time to learn skills to handle them. Whether you’re graduating with a solid plan laid out for you or whether you’re jumping into the great unknown, you’re ready for it. And we can’t wait to see where you land!
The Brass Ring 